Dear Iowa Legislators
This letter was written by Iowa City resident Jon Trouten on behalf of his family for One Iowa's Lobby Day.
Dear Iowa Legislators,
I, like many gay Iowans, have been invited to come to Des Moines today to talk about my family and why marriage equality is important to us. Unfortunately, due to conflicting work obligations and potential weather concerns, this is not an option for me. It is my hope that this letter will serve as a suitable alternative.
My name is Jon Trouten (sitting in the bottom right corner). My husband – standing behind the couch – is Mark Holbrook and our sons are D’Angelo and Leslie. Mark and I have both lived in Iowa since the very early 90s and hope to live out our lives in this wonderful state. We began dating in May 1994 and were joined together in a religious wedding ceremony in May 1997. In January 2001, we became licensed foster parents and eventually became legal guardians for one of our foster sons and jointly adopted another.
On January 9, 2010, Mark and I were legally married in Iowa City. It was a special day that included many of our family members, friends, co-workers, and fellow church members. It was important for us to take the steps to legally formalize our relationship. Because of our earlier religious ceremony, we had long viewed ourselves as a married couple, even if the law wasn’t quite there.
Our marriage license serves as protection for our family unit for those unanticipated life events and crises. We have wills and living wills. But we are all too familiar with situations involving hospitals or medical offices that don’t respect gay households. We worry about the transfer of our home and finances upon the eventual death of one of us. Our marriage license helps to protect the integrity of our family with situations like applying for family membership at our gym or accessing family benefits in the workplace.
Our family truly appreciates those legislators who have resisted the effort to immediately respond to the 2009 Supreme Court marriage equality decision by seeking to reject same-sex marriages.
I understand that not everyone approves of such relationships, but I honestly believe that a culture that honors and nurtures both traditional and same-sex marriages will ultimately prove better for it. Married households are stable households. Children do best in married households because of the stability that comes from having married, committed parents. Married couples are statistically healthier, emotionally stable, and financially secure. All of this benefits the larger community.
In closing, I encourage each and every one of you to stand firm against efforts to do away with same-sex marriages. Give us a chance to demonstrate the societal good that comes from the promotion and protection of ALL families.
Very sincerely,
Jon Trouten
Share this: 
